The Life Sporadic

Father of two. Love of one.
nothing I say really matters
but I will go ahead and say it anyway

Real phone conversations I have

  • Friend: Dude, let's go drinking.
  • Me: Nah, man. I took a mind boggling amount of drugs after dropping the boy off and have slept all day.
  • Friend: Word, you're all set to stay up all night.
  • Me: I'm pretty sure that it would be a bad mix at this point. Plus, I'm still tired.
  • Friend: I'll buy your booze.
  • Me: Tempting, but no. I've got money.
  • Friend: I'll drive.
  • Me: I'm safer driving drunk.
  • Friend: There will be women.
  • Me: There's always women. It's like pizza. You can dial one up. Hot, fresh,at your door in 30 minutes or less ready to be devoured.
  • Friend: I don't know any women that are like pizza.
  • Me: Yeah you do. Yours just have extra cheese, dude, with thick crust.. the bad kind.
  • Friend: Are you going to make me say 'please?'
  • Me: I'm in the middle of a self-induced drug overdose and a sinus infection. Don't beg.
  • Friend: PLEAAAAASSEEE. You're the most fun person I know.
  • Me: You're pathetic. No.
  • Friend: You're a bad friend, dude.
  • (YAY, so everyone has hated on me this weekend for doing the right thing.. oh well, time for more Rx and sleep)
  1. breakblossom said: Is it bad that I found the “extra cheeseā€¦thick crust” part hilarious? because I totally burst out laughing.
  2. britbrit1103 said: :-(
  3. thelifesporadic posted this