The Life Sporadic

Gentleman, but not gentle.Proud father to a wonderful boy.Smart-ass always I rarely trust anyone
I was tagged by walelafusihatchi to do the first photo in your phone thing. Shockingly, there was no nudity, no mocking and no son. This picture is like a Christmas 2013 miracle, which is when it was taken.  It was when my son flew back to see my family in California for the holidays.

I was tagged by walelafusihatchi to do the first photo in your phone thing. Shockingly, there was no nudity, no mocking and no son. This picture is like a Christmas 2013 miracle, which is when it was taken. It was when my son flew back to see my family in California for the holidays.

The cure for the migraine

The cure for the migraine

I have these weird theories

such as ‘chorizo and eggs cures headaches.’

I always receive a lot of push back on these theories and I have no idea why! If I’m wrong, it’s still delicious. Just go with it!

atane:

"Lemme get this alligator from the back. What could possibly go wrong?"

That dude looks like Bob Barker.

(via cokburger)

People watching on Tumblr

Obviously, I’ve been incredibly busy and haven’t been on here as much as I’d like. It has been interesting though watching the reactions of people when I go to their blogs to get caught up.

There hasn’t been many that I’ve been able to catch up on, but the few I have visited unfollow at about a 4:1 ratio. 

So let’s just get something out of the way right now that has been unspoken for the most part, okay?

1. I heart things because I like them. I am not trying to fuck you. You posted something thoughtful, funny, beautiful or something that seemed to need a showing of support that I felt like giving at the moment. I’m not trying to stick my dick in your ear.

2. But if I was, you’re gonna need a much bigger ear.

3. Just kidding, please don’t make another post about the patriarchy.

4. It’s funny to see people post so much shit about being lonely and bitching about no one reading their posts, then you like 10 posts of theirs and they unfollow. That probably is a small indicator as to why they are alone.

5. I don’t understand highly religious feminists. They post all these things about the misogyny of the patriarchal society, then turn around talking about loving God and Church. There’s nothing that has persecuted, objectified and systematically oppressed women more than organized religion. Just so we’re clear, this one isn’t a joke. I want to know. How do you justify your normally moral high ground? Is there something that I am missing here?

6. I don’t mean to tell anyone what to do with their lives, but some of y’all should just get a room and fuck.

7. I don’t think people need to be less sensitive, but they do need to have thicker skin. What ever happened to people owning themselves, their situations and their actions?

8. Maybe it’s just my perception of it, but the people who claim to want a ‘label free society’ the most are often the ones who love to slap labels and hyphens on things. I’m not telling you what to do, and you just feel free to hyphenate your existence further, but please don’t expect me to handle anything more than your first name without you tipping me or some other Pavlovian reward system.

9.I see a lot of folks feeling guilty about having sexual content on their blog, or for posting racier pictures of themselves. Don’t and don’t let anyone guilt you into thinking you’re wrong. Anyone fussing to you about doing that, does something 100 times freakier, I promise you.

10 You know what’s worse than crazy sports fans? Serial haters who do nothing but bitch about ‘I am so over (insert popular topic/season here) already.’ I get it. You’re cool. You win. Now STFU, or don’t, I’ll be watching the game so I won’t hear you anyway.

I gotta say 5 nice things about myself

and I am terrible at this, but I’ll give it a try since mommato2monkies tagged me

1. I haven’t killed anyone, yet.

2. I’m not a terrible parent.

3. I am brutally honest (not everyone is a fan of this, but I like it)

4. I’m fairly funny

5. I’m generous to a fault.

I think I’m supposed to tag a bunch of people, so if you feel inspired to do this, feel free to consider yourself tagged :)

Over dramatic baby can’t handle the hiccups

Over dramatic baby can’t handle the hiccups