so I’ve got some tips and observations for these ghost hunters:
1. Learn to camera
2. If the lights flicker, call an electrician.
3. If the temperature drops, put on a sweater or close the windows.
4. Why are all the ghosts in quaint little villages in the suburbs or historic districts, but never in the ghetto or barrio? Big momma didn’t get off that couch for 37 years, don’t think the after life will stop her. Check that shit out…and you want to talk angry ghosts? Everyone has that pissed off Tia who never got over her first husband. Seriously, you’re missing out.
5. If furniture starts flying, stop asking questions and get the fuck out of the house. Then, you burn that shit down and no one goes back, ever.
6. Everybody makes fun of Catholic priests until the empty hallway starts talking to you. When whatever the fuck is in the darkness answers you back and you don’t need that little recorder to hear it, you don’t go get your flamboyantly gay spiritual healer who also works part time at Hallmark.. no, you go get yourself an angry Italian priest and his chronically drunken Irish sidekick, preferably both Jesuit. You’ll thank me later. When the darkness calls, it’s no time for “PC”, you go get every bad ass Catholic stereotype and start jamming them up in that motherfucker. Call some mobsters for backup too. You never know when a body needs to get gone. Tell your friend, the healer, to make you all some tea and watch the show.
7. I’ve got more but I have to walk the dog.. god damn it, Satchmo is an asshole.