The Life Sporadic

Gentleman, but not gentle.Proud father to a wonderful boy.Smart-ass always I rarely trust anyone

I gotta say 5 nice things about myself

and I am terrible at this, but I’ll give it a try since mommato2monkies tagged me

1. I haven’t killed anyone, yet.

2. I’m not a terrible parent.

3. I am brutally honest (not everyone is a fan of this, but I like it)

4. I’m fairly funny

5. I’m generous to a fault.

I think I’m supposed to tag a bunch of people, so if you feel inspired to do this, feel free to consider yourself tagged :)

Over dramatic baby can’t handle the hiccups

Over dramatic baby can’t handle the hiccups

Babying is hard work.  The boy got a ps4 for his birthday and clearly Harlow is unimpressed.  Just as clearly, the baby has her priorities out of whack.

Babying is hard work. The boy got a ps4 for his birthday and clearly Harlow is unimpressed. Just as clearly, the baby has her priorities out of whack.

it’s my son’s birthday today

so I’ve been cutting people a lot of slack today, and it’s been quite difficult. His grandmother (my former in-law) has been on a bit of a streak lately. Despite the fact that she’s always going on about how ‘we are all still part of the family.’ her actions certainly tell another story. She’s the one who wanted to have a birthday party with her side of the family and not B or I.

Today, she started off sending me text messages asking me to go clean our former apartment. Now B and Carson still have stuff there, so I don’t mind getting that, but she’s talking about cleaning out the fridge and bathroom etc. Keep in mind, they didn’t do a god damned thing at the house I moved into despite the fact they were paid for it multiple times. 

I agreed to do it, which may seem odd to you, but there’s a reason. You see, I am hell bent on showing my son that he doesn’t have to be like ‘those people.’ He knows how they did us, and he sees just how this is playing out. I never wanted to make this about ‘my family is better than yours.’ That is something they have constantly been playing in the most passive-aggressive manner. Well fine, have it your way. All you’re doing is cementing the fact that he’ll one day be gone and never look back with any fondness to the other side of the family at all.

Anyway, she eventually got around to asking me if we were doing anything for my son’s birthday. I told her that we’re taking him out to dinner and the reason she had not heard anything about it yet, was because my son hadn’t made up his mind about where we were going yet. I also added, there’s no way we’d have a birthday celebration for her grandson without inviting her. (because it’s true and because I couldn’t resist being a dick) She asked what were the choices and I told her it was his 2 favorite steakhouses. Well, one of them is in this city and the other is a city over. She immediately said ‘well, I will buy Carson’s and Will’s (his brother) if he wants to go to Longhorn.

I then went on to explain that he actually likes the other place, Sedona, better and we’ll go wherever he wants. My response wasn’t as nasty as it probably reads here. She then begins coming up with reasons why we shouldn’t go to Sedona. I’ve just seen this selfish bullshit before.

Please, let’s not lose sight of the message that she is sending that this entire other family is incapable of comprehending. She is saying that she will buy his birthday dinner if my son chooses the restaurant that she wants. They do this with everything. “I will throw you money and favor, if you conform to what I want regardless of circumstance.” That’s the message.

Well, the boy wanted to be checked out for lunch but Harlow had her first Dr’s appointment today. She checked him out and took him to Zaxby’s. I told them to wait so I could buy his lunch, but she went ahead and did it. I knew why. Sure enough, now my son wants to go to Longhorn.

I took him back to school so he could finish out the day and attend practice.  I asked him if he wanted me to pick him up, or if he wanted to walk home. He told me to pick him up because his grandmother told him ‘not to fiddle faddle and hurry up to get home after practice.’ You see, earlier I had told her we’d do this as soon as he gets home from practice, whenever that is. It’s his birthday. I don’t care if he farts around with the guys in the locker room after practice. It’s his day.

Not to grandma, and again, please do not miss the message she’s sending there… So anyway, I tell my son, “hey, you can hurry up when it’s your grandmother’s birthday. Today is your day, don’t lose sight of that.” He laughed and walked down the hall to class.

If my mouth didn’t hurt so much from the procedure yesterday, I’d have chewed through my tongue hours ago. Again I ask, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

Oh! I forgot to show you guys who wanted to see the baby’s room. Also, she slept in her own bed through the night like a big girl!

We clearly need more funding for education

I have a friend who is a professor. He has a laser. This laser is about 10 years old. He’s submitted requests for a new one, but the money just isn’t in the budget. His research grant funding is always coming up short as well. 

You may wonder why I’m so vested in this story of my friend struggling to find the funds for a new laser system. Well, it’s because he’s promised that I can have the old one. I’m fairly certain he thinks I have some sort of academic purpose for it, but I don’t. I just want a laser. He cuts things with it. It’s not just some little cat toy. It’s about a third of the size of my garage. (which means I can store it!).

Perhaps it’s just the pain drugs talking, but I really mean it when I say I think of it daily. Granted, giving me things like this will usually lead to a really funny story that will probably conclude in handcuffs (not the fun kind). Still, this really needs to happen. Maybe we should start one of those internet fund raising campaigns?

In lighter news

my dentist is a sexist piece of shit. 

The entire time during my procedure he kept making statements about the inferiority, irritability and incompetence of women. Thank God my mouth was dead because I just wanted to scream, dude.. wtf is wrong with you?

The guy is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

Ranty Mc Ranterson

So my son had therapy yesterday. For those who don’t know (hey new folks!) my son’s mother (my ex-wife) was a monster. I mean a bonafide monster who abused her eldest son for 15 years before his grandparents finally took him away. She abused my son starting with our divorce when he was 4 and continued on until her suicide just recently. (He’s 14 now, so 10 years) The worst thing is that everyone knew it and turned a blind eye. They knew she lied about everything, but comforted themselves into thinking ‘this is different.’ Eventually, they could hide it no longer. They joined me in the fight for custody of my son. When everyone finally turned to the side of truth, she put a gun in her mouth rather than face the consequences of her actions.. It was bad enough that he was physically and emotionally tortured for 10 years, but when all was about to be right in the world, she pulled this to forever hang a burden of guilt on a little boy’s head for the rest of her life.

One of the hundreds (not hyperbole) tools of manipulation she used was therapy. She doctor shopped until she found a Dr. Feelgood who would believe mommy’s sad story and ignore the reality being presented by Dad. She’d gotten her diagnosis of ADHD for him (he doesn’t have it) and continued to medicate him heavily at times whenever she didn’t feel like parenting, or when the anvil of accountability was about to come down on her.

She used to sit in on his therapy sessions. It was a bit more than that though. She’d sit right by his side and control the entire session. She answered all the questions. When my son would disagree with her, or say something she didn’t like, she’d ‘correct him’ and for some reason, this fucking doctor went along.

It took me 2 and a half months just to get him into therapy because of the insurance that he had. His brother, who has been there for my son these past few years, insisted that he speak with the therapist. I didn’t object. My son didn’t object.

You see, if I tell you the whole story, you’ll never believe it. Some people just write it off as ‘ex spouse drama’ and other people simply refuse to believe that a woman is capable of being a monster on that level. However, when my son’s half-brother tells the story, it becomes far more believable. He lived it. He survived it and he’s not an ‘ex’, he was her child too. It seems silly, but it’s true.

Anyway, yesterday was only his 2nd appointment since her May 15th suicide (think about that), and his brother was adamant that he be able to speak his piece. We were actually good with that, but I had one concern.. and that concern became a reality.

His brother showed up 10 minutes late, but we were still able to get him in. He was supposed to spend no more than 5 minutes. Instead, he spent the entire hour long session back there. It basically turned into ‘his therapy session.’ When my son came out into the waiting room, he looked like he had been naughty touched.

I immediately asked him if it pissed him off or bothered him about his brother being back there the whole time. He didn’t want to answer, but reluctantly admitted that it really did. You see, therapy holds no credibility to him. We’ve been telling him that therapy can be a great tool and this time would be different. 

Yet here we are and the SAME FUCKING THING HAPPENED. Instead of his mom, it was now his brother. To be fair, his heart was in the right place. He didn’t realize his misstep, but I assure you that I let him know. While he was recounting to me the therapy session details, I just interrupted him  one time to say ‘So you sat back there, in his therapy session and you did all of the talking…. just like your mother.’

You could see his heart sink when I said that, as he hadn’t thought of it. I did. It won’t ever happen again. It sucks for him because his heart is in the right place, but this is my son’s life, his therapy and his recovery.

It should be noted that his brother is very much a part of that family that thought it was a good idea to have a birthday party for my son without his father.. So again I ask, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?

hahaha poor B

I pawned the phone off to her to talk with my mom because

1. I can’t talk. I finally had that surgical extraction done today.

2. I love my mom and all my family, but they just don’t ‘get it’ when it comes to dealing with my son, or the things we went through these past 10 years.

(this is also a really good time to drop this warning for all the new lovely followers. For long time followers, I know you know.)

The situation we endured was so unique and so outlandish that it’s beyond a made-for-tv movie/investigative discovery type of deal. My son, at his core, is a wonderful child. I’m not just saying that because I’m dad, it’s the unanimous opinion of all who know him. I’ve no idea what I did to deserve something so wonderful. At the same time, he’s learned a series of really fucked up behavior patterns that need to be corrected immediately.

I will break him of these. Failure is not an option. You’ve heard me say this a thousand times before, but I am his father not his friend. I don’t want to be his buddy, I want to raise a good man. Naturally, he would have been just that and he’s still well on his way, but the bad side is bad and it’s gotta stop.

So anyway, poor B is over there trying to explain to my mother and she’s just not getting it. She, like others, will draw from there own experiences and overlay them into advice they believe fits the situation. The problem is, there’s so few people who have ever dealt with exactly what he dealt with and I gave up hoping to make others understand long ago.

Still, poor B is giving it the college try! lol